Lacey in the Middle
By Sol Corazon
The Three
By recess on the first day of school, it was glaringly obvious that they did not fit in with the other kids. Kai was just a little too tidily
dressed. His clothes were neatly starched and ironed, with sharp creases down the middle of his pants legs. His black loafers gleamed
so brightly they appeared to have been spit shined. Black, glossy, precisely cut hair framed his long, narrow, oak brown face.
He was too neat, too perfect for his rundown surroundings. In contrast, Lacey looked as if someone had stuck her finger into an
electric socket. Her dark brown hair sprung out haphazardly in every direction. Her wrinkled dress was an ugly, pink tinged,
grayish white. Her slender brown legs were bare and she was wearing a tattered pair of white sneakers that were one size too big.
The other children had already separated themselves into groups. The project kids stood in a clump by the swings. The other kids were
jumping rope or playing on the rusted playground equipment. Dyllan stood in the center of the jungle gym, surrounded by its rusted
metal skeleton.
At six, this was his second trip through kindergarten and he was taller and sturdier than most of the other kids. His stormy, gray blue
eyes scanned the playground curiously. His arms were spread out, hands clutching the metal bars on each side of him. The second
youngest of seven, Dyllan, was experienced in claiming territory and was clearly marking the jungle gym as “MINE.”
His eyes returned to the two sitting on the concrete bench directly across from him. The girl reminded him of a movie he had seen,
where a boy had been raised by wolves. She looked like a jungle girl with all that wild hair. The boy, at first he thought he might be a
girl too, because he was so pretty, with his slanted black eyes, tiny rosebud mouth and long black hair, looked kinda scared.
Dyllan had incorrectly surmised that the boy must be Chinese. Dyllan was right about one thing: Kai was scared and he was bewildered
too. Over the past ninety days, his life had been turned inside out. His father, a military officer stationed in Japan, had been killed in a
training accident. His mother had sent him to live with his father’s mother in the United States.
At first, Kai and Lacey had been sitting on each side of the cold, hard bench. It took them about twenty minutes, but eventually they
ended sitting side-by-side, arms touching. They weren’t looking at each other, weren’t talking, they were just staring at the other kids,
aware that they were different in some kind of indefinable way and not fitting in. Lacey impulsively reached out and took Kai’s hand in
her own. He responded by clasping her hand as tightly as she held his.
Dyllan always found himself watching Lacey and Kai, curious about them. The kindergarten teacher, an experienced teaching nun,
used their growing friendship to help them adjust. They were usually paired together and when the classroom was arranged, their
desks were pushed together. They didn’t talk much. They didn’t seem to need to. In fact, at that point, Kai still understood more
Japanese than English.
Dyllan liked to watch them. The boy was always so neat and stayed that way, never a hair out of place. Jungle girl had a ponytail. She
had to have fixed her hair herself. Today, it was partially confined in a ponytail holder, but mostly not. She had on mis-matched socks, a
red jacket that was two sizes too big, a pair of worn, threadbare jeans and a t-shirt.
He was on the playground, King of the Jungle Gym, surveying his domain. The other kids were too intimidated by his stormy, gray blue
glare to approach him. As usual, Lacey and Kai were sitting on the bench across from the jungle gym, as close to each other as they
could get, and holding hands.
Every now and then, Kai would point to something, say a word and then look at her expectantly, until she said the word too. Sometimes
he would shake his head no and then they would seem to start over. This increased Dyllan’s interest.
He kept watching them, trying to figure out what they were doing. Suddenly, Lacey looked up and noticed his scrutiny. She smiled,
ginger brown eyes sweet and warm, her entire face lit with welcome. He had never really seen her face before, because most of the
time she was looking down and avoiding eye contact with others. Her smile made Dyllan feel as though he were being bathed in sunshine.
He felt the smile in a tangible way. Almost like she had reached out by the hand and pulled him towards her. He was never able to
explain verbally, something that he had felt on such a visceral level. He had found something he had not even been aware of missing.
Three weeks from the first day of kindergarten, Dyllan relinquished his possession of the jungle gym and joined the two sitting on the
Three desks were pushed together, with Lacey in the middle.
They had been learning how to count to 100. No matter how often Kai and Dyllan practiced with her, Lacey always got the number
count 1 to 10 mixed up. Today, for the first time, it clicked. She had looked at the three desks pushed together and said…1…2…3.
She touched herself…one, then Kai…two, and then Dyllan…three.
She kept it up until even Dyllan could not keep a straight face. They were caught giggling by the teacher and threatened with
separation, they were so loud. This silenced them immediately.
Later on the playground, Dyllan said it again, “One…two…three…” and it was different, they didn’t laugh. Kai said it too.
It was a vow, a promise, a bond. Dyllan never teased Lacey and Kai for holding hands, even though he thought it was babyish; he would
sit close, but he wouldn’t hold hands. Today was different. They sat on the bench talking and playing, not fitting in with the others and
not caring.
That day, Dyllan held hands too.
**************************************************
Kai walked gracefully into the kitchen, black, silky hair pushed back from his forehead and streaming down to the middle of his back.
He prepared a bowl of his favorite cereal, Special K. Lacey was already sitting at the table, reading the newspaper, while sipping a cup
of coffee and munching on a piece of buttered toast.
“C’mere baby,” she said. “Take a look at this. Our horoscopes look pretty interesting.”
Before leaning over her shoulder to read, Kai softly kissed the back of her neck.
Lacey shivered slightly and then started reading aloud, “Mine says, ‘Arise Sagittarian, that which is dormant awakens now.’ Yours
says…”
“Lucky you Aquarius,” Kai read aloud with her in mellow tones.
While he read, he lightly stroked her arms up and down. He did it unconsciously. He was an extremely tactile being and one of his
favorite things in all the world was to touch Lacey. Lacey shivered again, goose bumps rising along her arms where Kai touched her.
She stopped speaking and Kai continued reading aloud by himself.
“The deepest longing of your heart realized, 1…2…3…”
Kai gently rested his chin on the top of Lacey’s head and rubbed back and forth. “Cool,” he said.
“Yeah, and Dyllan’s says…”
“Oh God,” Dyllan groaned, as he entered the room. He was shirtless and wearing a pair of worn, gray sweat pants that hung low on his
lean hips, his shoulder length blond hair was slicked back and wet from his recent shower.
“Are you two reading the horrorscopes again? Damn, let me go back out and come back in when you’re done.”
“No, no, listen, listen,” Lacey said. “This is a good one. ‘Roar Leo, roar, your greatest pleasure, your greatest treasure is now yours,
if you so desire.’
Dyllan snorted rudely, “Ok, whatever.” He moved to the refrigerator and began taking out the ingredients for a protein shake.
Kai leaned over, softly kissed the back of Lacey’s neck and she shivered again. Her eyes closed briefly at the shock of unfamiliar
sensation coursing through her body. Something within Kai stopped and came to attention as he reviewed the last few moments. Lacey
had responded to his touch. Not in the usual puppy girl way. This was different.
He went back around the kitchen table and sat down in one of the butcher-block chairs. He eyed her speculatively and turned the words
over and over in his mind, ‘that which has been dormant…the deepest longing of your heart.’ If he was to be truly honest with himself,
he kept the deepest longing of his heart hidden. To admit to it, to pull it out, analyze and examine it, would be too unutterably painful,
since he was certain it would not ever come to pass.
In spite of himself, his heartbeat quickened and he continued to look at Lacey out of solemn black eyes. She tilted her head and looked
at him questioningly. “What up, baby?”
He shook his head slowly. “Nothing…nothing,” he repeated.
Kai moved over to the worn, black, leather couch, sat down and stretched long arms out on each side of his wiry frame. He leaned back
and sighed dramatically, “It’s movie day and I am waiting…ever so patiently.”
“I’m coming,” Lacey said, quickly finishing the last bite of toast and the remaining few sips of coffee. “What are we watching?”
“Anything with Vin Diesel,” Kai said. “I’m in love with that man.”
“Me too,” Lacey said and they smiled at each other in agreement.
“Hold up. Hold up, kids,” Dyllan said. “Let me finish making my shake.”
He rapidly dropped a couple of strawberries, a handful of blueberries and a banana into the blender. Lacey washed her dishes and then
joined Kai on the sofa. She laid her head in his lap and curled up against him.
“I am soooo glad to be off today. It’s been a rough week. Too many kids with too many problems, ” Lacey said.
She added somberly, “It hurts. Every one of those kids reminds me of what things coulda been like for me if I didn’t have the two of
you.”
Lacey was a social worker and worked at a school for homeless kids. She was quiet for long moments, and then continued in a lighter
tone.
“I am DRAINED. I’m vegging this weekend and Kai is gonna get his deep, deep longing fulfilled. What’s the secret Kai? A deep, dark
wish for Vin Diesel to come scoop you up?” Lacey teased.
“I wish,” Kai responded casually, relieved she could not see his face.
“K, K, I’m here. Lift up,” Dyllan said, pulling Lacey’s legs into his lap, so that she lay across both of them. She shifted herself to get
comfortable and snuggled into them.
“Ok?” Dyllan asked her.
“Yes,” she replied.
“Cold?” Dyllan asked her, knowing how easily she became chilled.
“Nope, you guys are keeping me warm,” she murmured. Kai hit the remote and soon the three of them were engrossed in the fast
paced action flick. Kai gently stroked and caressed the silky skin of Lacey’s arms and legs, petting her. He slowly began unbraiding
her hair, enjoying the cascade of thick, coarse, soft, dark brown strands against his fingers.
Lacey hummed in contentment. “I hope you asked Dyllan if he was going to rebraid my hair for me before you started taking it out,”
she said.
Kai gave Dyllan a guilty look. “Oops. Hey Dyl, you gonna braid Lacey’s hair?”
Dyllan gave Kai a sour look, “Guess I’m gonna have to. Can’t send her to work looking like a jungle girl.”
“Sorry,” Kai said.
Dyllan nodded. He always pretended it was a chore or a favor for him to braid Lacey’s hair…only, it wasn’t and Kai and Lacey knew it.
When Lacey turned five, she had confided shyly that she hadn’t received any birthday presents and that the only birthday present that
she REALLY wanted was for the other girls to stop talking bad about her hair.
He had taken Lacey to his older sister Mary Katherine. It was the first time he had taken Lacey home with him. Lacey had taken one
look at Mary Katherine’s creamy, caramel colored skin, blond spiral curls, and blue eyes and said, ‘You look like an angel.’
Mary Katherine’s soft heart had melted. When Lacey smiled at her shyly, she had fallen in love with the little girl. Dyllan had watched
every move Mary Katherine made, and taught himself how to braid Lacey’s hair.
Lacey felt warm and secure, snuggled into Dyllan and Kai. Kai’s fingers combing through her hair and massaging her scalp felt soooo
good. His long, sensitive fingers traced an endless, torturous route along her body. They started at her hair, circled lightly round and
round on the back of her neck, down her arm, gently entwined with hers, drifted back up her arm and down across her thigh as far as he
could reach. Then they retraced their path, oh so slowly and delicately, until every nerve in her body was awake and standing on end.
Lacey quivered, anticipating that funny feeling she got in her stomach when Kai moved his fingers a certain way. What she was feeling
deepened and twisted until she felt raw. She couldn’t put a name to it. It was almost painful and yet she did not want him to stop. Her
breathing quickened slightly and she shifted restlessly. Kai continued his languorous, sensual stroking.
With a feather light touch, he curved his forefinger across her ear, and even more gently, slowly moved his fingers upwards, to spread
through her scalp and then clench and carefully tug a handful of her hair. She moaned softly and buried her hot face against Kai’s leg.
A heated rush of agonizing pleasure permeated her entire being. “God, God, God…does he know what he’s doing to me?”
Dyllan felt his cock slowly stiffening. His body responded instinctively to Lacey’s arousal before his conscious mind was aware of it. He
could smell her. Sultry, sweet and with that special Lacey smell he associated with her. Shit. This was not happening. He looked at Kai
and gave him a, what the fuck are you doing? look out of fierce blue eyes. Kai looked back and Dyllan couldn’t interpret his expression.
Lacey got up suddenly and said, “Um, I’m gonna take a long, hot soak. I’ll check Vin out later.”
She strode off to the bathroom on shaky legs and left a rare, uncomfortable silence behind her.
“What are you up to Kai? Dyllan asked in a heated whisper.
Kai looked at Dyllan out of unfathomable black eyes, not sure how to answer or how to express what he was feeling and what his
intuition was telling him.
Dyllan leaned over and softly kissed Kai’s full lips.
“I hope you know what you are doing man. You weren’t there.”
Kai didn’t have to ask what Dyllan meant. He hoped he knew what the fuck he was doing too. He kept turning the words ‘that which
has been dormant’ and ‘lucky you’ around and around in his head.
Dyllan hated memories of that day. As always, his heart started to race as the memories surfaced unwillingly. Since kindergarten, the
three of them had been inseparable. They were together almost every day and spent most of their time at Dyllan’s house. He lived
across the street from the West Baltimore high-rise projects Kai and Lacey lived in. With all of the kids coming and going in his house,
a couple more made no difference to his laid-back mom.
Feeling unusually fatigued, Lacey had gone straight home after school, telling Dyllan and Kai that she would catch up with them later.
Dyllan had worried that she had picked up a virus that was going around school. He had an uneasy feeling and when Lacey was late,
he found himself walking and then running urgently to her apartment. He hadn’t bothered to put a jacket on, but was impervious to the
chill December weather.
He didn’t knock; they wouldn’t have heard if he had. Lacey’s mother and her friends were listening to some rap song he had never
heard before and nodding in front of the television, high as shit. His heart picked up the driving beat of the music when he looked
around and didn’t see Lacey.
He raced towards her room and kicked the locked door open effortlessly. Lacey was on the bed, struggling with some guy who was
lying on top of her. There was bright red blood smeared between her thighs.
At thirteen, Dyllan had just about reached his adult height of 6’3.” Like the rest of the O’Brien’s, he was big boned and muscular.
Without any thought, he reached over, grabbed the guy and secured him in a chokehold. Artic blue eyes found Lacey on the bed
struggling to compose herself and trying not to panic when she saw the blood on her legs. Dyllan’s fear turned into a quiet, murderous
rage.
Ignoring the man efforts to get away, he asked, “Ok baby?”
Something in his eyes made Lacey nod quickly. She would have done so even if she hadn’t been ok. The guy didn’t know it, but he was
not gonna get away until Dyllan decided to let go. As the second youngest of seven, Dyllan knew how to fight dirty. With a big brother
like Cullen, he couldn’t be anything but a street fighter. As Cullen liked to say, ‘ When I’m finished with you, the only person who’ll be
able to kick your ass will be me.’
Dyllan said in cold, harsh tones, “Keep moving bitch, and I’ll let you choke yourself.”
Gasping for breath, the man stopped moving. Keeping his arm wrapped around the guy’s neck, Dyllan hauled him through the
apartment, ignoring the choking sounds he was making. He threw him down the steps and saw with grim satisfaction that the man was
not able to catch himself until the middle of the second landing.
He took a deep, shaky breath and went back to Lacey. He wanted to storm through the apartment, kick all of Lacey’s mother’s so
called friends out. He wanted to beat Lacey’s mother sober. He walked back into Lacey’s room on unstable legs. She was sitting on
her bed, staring at the dusty wooden floor.
“I was calling you,” she said softly, husky voice trembling.
“I heard you,” he said simply.
“I’m bleeding,” she continued.
“I know,” Dyllan replied.
“Not from him,” she said angrily. “I don’t know why.”
Having the desire to kick Lacey’s dumb ass, fucked up, junkie mother’s ass all over again, he squatted in front of her.
“It’s ok,” he said. “It’s your period.”
“My what?”
“Your period.” He briefly explained what he knew in simple terms, for once thanking God for his sisters.
“Mary Katherine will tell you the rest, ok?”
Dyllan heard footsteps pounding through the apartment--maybe the asshole had gone to get some friends. He jumped up, ready for
anything. Kai burst into the room.
Kai took one look at Lacey and said, “I knew it, I knew it. I knew something was wrong. I thought I would be too late.”
He was out of breath and perspiring. He collapsed next to Lacey and embraced her fiercely.
Dyllan went to the bathroom, searching cabinets and coming up empty handed. Shit, even junkies got periods, don’t they? Without
compunction, he entered Lacey’s mother’s room, and searched her drawers. Finally, finding what he needed, he returned to Lacey’s
room. Kai was holding her as if he was not ever going to let her go.
"Why doesn’t she love me?” Lacey asked angrily. “Why doesn’t she care enough about me to stop?”
Dyllan stopped in the middle of the bedroom, not sure what to say, what to do. In all the time he had know her, Lacey had never
complained about her mother.
Never complained about the times she had to tell her mother to take a shower, to get dressed. The times she had to go to the church
and ask for food because there was none in the house. Or about all of the other times she had to think like an adult instead of a child.
Kai understood, he had been asking that question since he had been shipped off to the US at age five, away from everything he knew.
He still couldn’t understand how the mother who had been such a warm, loving presence, could have so abruptly pushed him out of her
life. For Kai, the day Lacey had taken him by the hand, had kept him from disappearing.
Each day that had passed since he arrived in the United States, he had felt smaller and smaller. His grandmother had tried to reach him
with very little success. Only Lacey had been able to penetrate the fog of grief and isolation surrounding him and pull him through.
Unable to articulate his understanding or his feelings, Kai staunchly said, “We love you and we’ll tell you every day. Right Dyllan?”
Dyllan would have agreed to anything to take those heartbroken looks off of both of their faces.
“Yeah, right, I love you,” he said gruffly. “Both of you. Ok kids,” he said.
Kai and Lacey looked at each other. Kids????
“I’m the oldest, and I know best. Get cleaned up, packed up and we out.”
When they arrived at Dyllan’s house, his brother Cullen and Cullen’s best friend Shannon were outside putting up Christmas
decorations.
Cullen eyeballed them sternly. “What’s wrong?” he asked. His violet eyes softened when they reached Lacey.
“C’mere girl,” he said. She walked over to him and sank into his warm embrace.
Dyllan said briefly. “Some asshole friend of her mother’s.”
Cullen put the rest together easily. “He dead?" he asked Dyllan, face grim.
“Nah, threw him down the steps though.”
“Cool,” Cullen said. “We gonna teach you how to fight little girl. By the time I’m finished with you, nobody’ll be able to kick your ass
but me.”
Lacey never spent any time alone in her apartment again. Kai and Dyllan were always with her or she was at Dyllan’s crowded house.
Even though Lacey could have easily shared with one of his sisters, she stayed in Dyllan’s room. Kai, Lacey and Dyllan became
accustomed to sleeping together like a litter of puppies. Lacey became accustomed to the idiosyncrasies of adolescent boys.
As she stood in her bathroom, with the door closed, breathing deeply, she asked herself why this was any different. She had felt
Dyllan’s hard cock poking against her thigh and Kai’s underneath her upper body. They were always cuddled together. Sometimes it
happened. Sometimes it didn’t.
The only difference this time was her response to it, she realized sickeningly. This time, she had been turned on by the feel of their
hard cocks, by the male smell of them. By Kai’s long, graceful fingers moving skillfully across her skin. By the fact that she was
surrounded by the two people she loved most in the world, cuddled into them, feeling loved, safe and…as if she could eat them alive.
God and Kai…Kai was gay and she most definitely was not turned on by that old clichéd thing about straight women trying to transform
a gay man into something he obviously wasn’t meant to be. Shit, was this some kind of hormonal thing? Was she hitting puberty in her
twenties?
Well, she decided grimly. If that’s what it was, she was keeping her damn hormones to herself. She ran her bath water, lit incense and
candles. She sank into the hot bubbly water and tried to read a book she had wanted to get to for a long time. She tried to ignore her
racing thoughts and crazy feelings.
She stirred uneasily in the steaming water. This was not the time to start running away from the painful and difficult. Growing up with a
mother like hers, she had realized very early, that you can never escape yourself. She wanted Kai, wanted Dyllan. Admit it…physically, sexually.
She wanted them badly. Why now? They had been living together now for six months. It had taken years of planning, working hard, and
pooling resources, to reach the goal established when they were barely teenagers: to get the fuck out the hood, and to be together.
She was startled to suddenly realize now, that even though Dyllan and Kai had lovers, neither one had had a relationship, ever. She had
never really thought about it before. Over the years, it had just been the three of them.
Since they had been living together, neither one had even brought a lover home. She had never had a lover. That incident where she
had been attacked as a young girl had put her budding sexuality into deep freeze. The barriers were down now. Because?
Because she felt safe, comfortable, loved. She had vowed to Kai once that noone was ever going to be able to touch her again…except
for him and Dyllan. She had kept that vow. She was not a hugger or cuddler…except with the two of them.
Well, she controlled her body, not the other way around. She would be honest with herself about how she was feeling…and just keep it
in check. Things were just the way she had always dreamed and she was not going to do anything to change it or screw it up.
Dyllan continued watching the movie, mind half on the action, half on remembering. Kai stretched out and laid his head on Dyllan’s lap.
He rubbed his cheek slowly against Dyllan’s still hard cock.
Dyllan gave Kai’s hair a hard, playful tug. “Don’t start what you can’t finish. Watch the movie,” he added sternly. “I want to see it.”
He moved restlessly as Kai rubbed his lips over the head of his cock and blew warm breath through the thin, worn material of his sweat
pants. His cock twitched eagerly in response.
Kai sat up and rose to his feet in a smooth, elegant movement. He walked over to the windows and looked out upon the busy city.
Although they owned the entire three apartment building, he loved being on the third floor. He could view the entire city. He laughed at
himself for the happy thrill he experienced every time he looked around their apartment.
Dyllan and Lacey had allowed him a free hand, trusting in his artistic eye implicitly. Their furniture was secondhand but good, solid
pieces. He had added green, leafy plants of all sizes and shapes all over the place to add life and color. There were brightly colored
pillows scattered on the sofa, adding warmth to the room. The room was sun-filled and airy, due to the presence of three ceiling to floor
windows on the sidewall.
When Lacey saw the windows, she had to have this house in particular. “Got to have that sun,” she said. Living here with Dyllan and
Lacey was as close as Kai thought he would ever get to what he really wanted. He remembered so many of the things that had occurred
in their lives. All of the things that had brought them closer together.
He felt so lucky. To go from feeling so lost, alien and out of place to the sunshine of Lacey was like a dream. They didn’t even have to
speak sometimes to be in perfect communion. They would exchange a wordless glance and that would be enough. Dyllan called it scary.
He’d say, ‘Cut that shit out.’ It was almost like they were one person. Yet they had quite distinctive personalities and were very
different in quite a few ways.
He could feel her fear. Feel her doubting and mocking herself for what she was feeling. What she felt when he touched her…because
he was gay. He felt fortunate that he had not ever experienced the turmoil that he had read and heard about other gay men
experiencing. It was so intrinsic to his nature that it just was. He had always known that he liked and desired boys.
He had his first crush when he was around eight. It was their music teacher at school, Mr. James Chatham. Of course, at the time, he
hadn’t realized it was a crush. Just like he had always known so had Lacey. He had never had to come out and tell her.
Starting in kindergarten, the two of them were voracious readers. They had discovered the writers Mary Renault and
Mercedes Lackey, among others when they were around twelve years old. Lacey had an idealized, romantic version of what two men
together must be like.
The warrior lovers of Sparta had always appealed to her. Best friends and lovers, loyal until the end. A physical and spiritual union. So
when she figured out Kai was gay, she thought it was so cool. At the age of twelve, she had some vague idea of Kai and his male lover,
Dyllan and his lover of the moment and her living happily ever after.
He had come out to Dyllan when he was around 15. They were in Druid Hill Park, on top of a deserted hilly area, where they went to
chill sometimes. The ground had been amber, orange and gold with piles of fallen leaves. They had sat down at the top of the hill
waiting for Lacey to catch up.
“I’m gay,” he had said suddenly, stomach churning despite the fact that his heart knew Dyllan loved him. Still…part of him was scared.
“And what?”Dyllan said in cool tones.
“I’m gay, Yo,” he had repeated nervously.
“I heard you, kid,” Dyllan said, pushing him on his back and jumping on top of him.
They gathered momentum and rolled down the hill, over and over, laughing their asses off. At the bottom of the hill, Kai had flushed as
his penis had hardened against Dyllan’s thigh. “Sorry,” he apologized quietly.
Dyllan, still on top of him, looked down and grinned devilishly while rubbing his erect penis against Kai.
“You’re gay?” Kai had asked dumbfounded.
Dyllan smirked. “Ever heard of that saying, ‘a stiff dick has no conscience?”
Kai shook his head no.
“Well, my mother says it all the time,”Dyllan responded. “Anyway, instead of that, I always say, ‘my stiff dick has no preference.’
I am an O’Brien after all. You know how my brother Cullen is, what they say about him?”
Kai nodded his head.
“Plus in my family, we don’t care about shit like that. My ma says----‘Just be nice, don’t hurt nobody and its all good.’
Kai chuckled to himself again at the memory. He hated labels. He felt that he had to identify himself as gay, because to say anything
less would be to deny himself and who he was. And yet…he wanted Lacey. He desired her. Craved her. He wanted to fuck her, wanted
to get into her skin, wanted to make love to her with a passion that burned him raw.
He didn’t understand it. He only knew it was true. More than love, more than sex. After his last attempt at a relationship, he had finally
recognized that emotionally he was too tied into Dyllan and Lacy to have a relationship with a boyfriend. Over the past six months, he
had stopped trying and he had been happy. Until today.
Today, when he had just barely acknowledged to himself what he truly wanted. He ran his fingers through his hair. Dyllan stepped
behind him and massaged his shoulders.
Kai leaned back into him and sighed.
“Ok, baby?” Dyllan asked, wrapping his arms around Kai and kissing the top of his head.
“Yeah,” Kai murmured. “Just a little restless. It was busy this week, finishing the artwork for the new client.”
Kai was a graphic artist and had been running his own business for the past eighteen months. “I’ve been thinking. Thinking about how
it was when I first told you and everything that we’ve been through together. Remember, how it was the first time?”
“Yeah,” Dyllan replied softly. “I will never forget that.”
Dyllan had waited for Lacey to finish an extra credit project she was working on after school. Kai was waiting for them at his apartment.
She ran down the concrete stairs at the school entrance and said breathlessly, “Sorry I’m late, Dee.”
“No prob,” Dyllan assured her. “You ready?”
“Um, I’m gonna go over Gina’s and she’s gonna help me with a project. I’ll meet you at Kai’s.”
“How you gonna get to Kai’s? I don’t want you walking by yourself when it’s dark outside.”
“It’s ok, Daddy,” Lacey said sweetly. “I’ll catch a cab. It’s not far and I got a couple dollars.”
“I’m serious, Lacey.” Dyllan said.
“I know, I know. I’m just teasing you.”
Dyllan was halfway down the block when Lacey turned around and called him.
“What up?” he asked, jogging up to her. “Forgot your key?”
“Nope--Dyll,” she said, pulling his head down so she could look into his eyes earnestly. “I love you and I know you will always do the
right thing.”
Dyllan started to make some sort of smart-ass comment but something about the look on Lacey’s sweet face stopped him. He took a
deep breath. “Thank you… I love you too.”
He looked at her quizzically.
“That’s all,” she said. “See you later.”
Dyllan jogged over to Kai’s apartment, wondering what the hell that was about. Lacey must be up to something. Lacey always had a
List and Lacey always had a Plan. Without fail, she always managed to involve Dyllan and Kai in whatever her scheme was.
Dyllan used his key. After what had happened to Lacey, they each had keys to the other’s homes. The only reason he used his key now
was that he knew tonight was Bingo night for Kai’s grandma. The apartment was warm and comfortable after the cold November chill
outdoors. The front room had an amber glow from the candles sitting on the coffee table.
“Kai,” Dyllan called out.
“I’m in the kitchen.”
The kitchen table was prettily set, with matching plates, placemats, crystal wine goblets and silverware. Lit candles served as a
centerpiece and their perfumed scent lightly permeated the room.
“It’s not my birthday, ”Dyllan said puzzled. “So, why am I smelling the beautiful scent of baked bread and lasagna and broccoli and …
shit…shit…you didn’t, did you? Apple pie too??? I’m dreaming…I know I am.”
Kai was looking at Dyllan as if he were crazy. Dyllan walked over to Kai and started kissing him all over his face. Big, sloppy, noisy
kisses.
“I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this,” he said. “But I---I… I love you man.” Unable to keep a straight face, he started
laughing.
He looked at Kai. Kai was not amused…and he was still looking at Dyllan as if he were from another planet or something. Dyllan
looked at the prettily set table again, the candles, all of the painstakingly prepared food. He looked at Kai again.
Kai was perfection. From the black brushed suede boots, neatly pressed jeans, purple velvet turtleneck, to his hair, black and glossy,
as if he had brushed it for hours. Kai’s face was impassive. Solemn black eyes, unreadable. Soft full lips, unsmiling. Cheekbones sharp
as blades and prominent in the candlelight. Dimples hidden with no intention of coming out to play tonight. This was Serious Kai.
“Am I in the wrong place, wrong time, Yo?” Dyllan asked. “I thought me and Lacey were supposed…”
“No, No, NO,” Kai interrupted softly, running his fingers through his hair gracefully. He turned back to the stove and started checking,
stirring, and replacing lids with slow, precise, motions. Uh oh---Kai is nervous. Unlike most people, nerves did not make Kai clumsy.
The more anxious he became, the more precise, the more graceful he became. Underneath the cool, perfect layer was an underlying
tension that Dyllan was finally beginning to pick up on.
“No, No, what, Kai? What’s up? Everything ok?”
“No, I don’t have plans with anyone else but you and Lacey,” Kai said quietly. “I thought, Lacey and I thought… I just wanted to do
something nice for you and spend some time with you so we could talk.”
“Ooookay,” Dyllan said. “What d’you wanna talk about?”
“It can wait 'til after we eat,” Kai said.
“If it’s anything bad just tell me now,” Dyllan said grimly, his heart beginning to clench with fear. “Kai…you’re not sick are you?”
Startled and embarrassed, Kai flushed. “No…no…nothing like that. Nothing like that.”
He walked over to Dyllan. “Hey, the way we bug you about using condoms and getting tested? Hell no…what applies to you applies to
us too.”
Dyllan had been playing around with his older brothers’ Cullen, Niall and Quinn, ex-girlfriends and other friends, since he was around
twelve or thirteen. Lacey and Kai always accompanied him to the clinic on North Avenue for testing and always, without fail, bugged
him about using condoms.
He never left home without one. You didn’t live in their neighborhood for long without knowing what being sick was. Dyllan loved life
too much to risk it for the sake of cumming. No matter how good it felt.
His stomach relaxed. ‘Shit, you scared the fuck outta me for a minute. Let’s eat.”
Kai looked at him intently. “Now I’m too nervous to eat. Can we talk for a minute?”
When Dyllan nodded, Kai led him into the front room and they both sat on the worn brown couch, barely noticing as they sank down
heavily onto the frame of the old piece of furniture.
Kai closed his eyes for a minute, gathering his thoughts. “Dyllan,” he said formally, “I am gay.”
“Kai,” Dyllan said just as formally, “I know.”
Is this doing the right thing? he asked himself.
“Let me finish,” Kai said impatiently. “I haven’t been with anyone before.”
“You’re a virgin???” Dyllan interrupted again.
“Yes.”
As Dyllan opened his mouth to speak once more, Kai held up one hand imperiously, stopping him. “I have thought about it a lot. I don’t
want my first experience to be with someone I don’t know, someone I meet in the bathroom at the bus station or outside a bar.”
Is this what doing the right thing means? Dyllan was frozen with shock as Kai continued and he started to realize where this
conversation was headed. Will it hurt Kai if I say, “No, I am not the one?" Dyllan remembered his first time with his brother Quinn’s
ex-girlfriend Stacey and his brother Niall’s friend Tina.
They had teased him until he was hard and taken him over to Tina’s house to play. It had been lighthearted, exuberant, and joyous.
Could he do that for someone? Could he do that for Kai? Suddenly it all clicked together.
“Hold up, hold up. I know you and Lacey think I’m a brick.”
Kai was startled into smirking in agreement and a dimple appeared and disappeared.
Dyllan continued, “I know there’s a List involved in this and oh yes, where there’s a list, there’s a Plan.”
Kai’s impassive face was now appearing to be unbelievably innocent. Oh no, not me, it said expressively.
Dyllan’s eyes narrowed threateningly. “Ok, I am willing to talk about it. I’m willing to think about it, but you are going to need to show
me that list first.”
Kai walked into his bedroom and returned with the list in hand.
De-virginize Kai
Plan:
Have Dyllan do the job: fix his favorite meal, candles, incense,
Have the talk.
Anal sex: Lube!!!!! Fingers first. Practice!!!!! Condoms
Rules: No going off with strangers, (me or Dyllan have to be with
you) Use condoms
“If this wasn’t so cute, I’d really be pissed off,” Dyllan said bluntly.
“I know,” Kai said, blinking rapidly as his eyes filled with tears.
“I’m fucking up,” he said abruptly, voice shaking. “Lacey and I weren’t plotting behind your back.”
At Dyllan’s measured blue-eyed gaze, Kai backpedaled, “Well, not in a bad way.”
Kai stood up and paced restlessly. Dyllan remained unusually silent.
“I’ve been going crazy. I want to touch and be touched. I want to fuck and be fucked. I’m lonely. I’m horny and I am tired of jerking off.
Lacey has this romantic idea of how things should be…you know how she is…and we came up with the Plan. But, we didn’t even think
of you at first. I’ve thought about it and thought about it and there is no way I can do my first time with a stranger. We kept trying to
think of people but…”
Kai walked over to Dyllan knelt down in front of him and grasped his hands. “You are my best friend, my brother. You know me better
than anyone else in the world, next to Lacey, and I love you,” Kai said in a whisper.
“Lacey makes her lists and her plans because it’s a way of taking control, making things happen instead of feeling helpless,” Kai said.
“You know why she’s that way. We did not mean to manipulate you or plot behind you back or hurt you or insult you.” The tears
overflowed and slid down his face, glistening in the candlelight.
Do the right thing…now Dyllan understood completely what Lacey meant. Do the right thing, of course, was yes. This was his sweet
Kai; there was no way he could not do this. I know you will do the right thing, meant: I know you will do it. It is the right thing to do and
I love and support you.
Dyllan pulled Kai onto his lap, cradling him against his chest. “Shhhh, don’t cry.”
He stroked Kai’s hair gently, enjoying the thick, silky texture. “Ok, here’s MY plan,” Dyllan said.
Kai sniffled and laughed a little at the same time. Dyllan lifted Kai’s chin with one hand and gently wiped the tears away with the other.
“First, we’re gonna eat that amazing meal you’ve fixed. Then we’ll clean up so Grandma won’t be pissed. I’ll take it from there. This is
my thing, got it?”
Kai nodded.
“You and Lacey, you’re my thing…you get that?” Dyllan asked.
Kai nodded his head again.
“Cool,” Dyllan said.
While they ate dinner, Dyllan admitted to himself that he had always enjoyed watching Kai. He had a lean, muscular grace that was
visually pleasing. At fifteen, Kai was growing steadily, not like the overnight growth spurt that Dyllan had experienced.
His deep oak brown skin revealed his mixed ethnic background. His eyes were onyx, slanted and mysterious. He was very difficult to
read, unless you knew him as well as Dyllan and Lacey did. His hair spilled over his shoulders in shiny, black waves.
Dyllan complimented Kai on the elaborate meal he had painstakingly prepared and was amused at Kai’s flush of pleasure. Dyllan
complimented Kai on his choice of clothing and how nice the apartment looked. He watched Kai slowly relax as he showered him with
praise and affection.
They cleaned the kitchen together as they had many times before, but this was different. They had always been physical and
affectionate before. The three of them were like a litter of puppies, wrestling and playing and sleeping together.
Only, Dyllan had never touched Kai with sexual intent before as he was doing now. The kitchen was small and as they worked side by
side and moved around, Dyllan allowed his body to brush against Kai’s repeatedly. The first time it had happened Kai had tensed,
aware of how careful he had always been not to appear to be coming onto Dyllan.
He had not wanted to do anything to jeopardize their closeness. Now that those barriers were coming down, he was not quite sure how
to handle it and he was scared. This was so much more than he and Lacey envisioned when they started The Plan.
Kai forced himself to relax. Dyllan said this was his show. Dyllan was like a pit bull, tough and tenacious. Kai was going to relax and go
along for the ride.
Dyllan brushed against Kai once more. This time, he stayed behind him instead of moving away. He buried his face in Kai’s hair, and
said, “Mmmm, you smell good.”
Dyllan moved Kai’s hair to one side, pulled the collar of the turtle neck shirt Kai was wearing down and placed a soft, moist kiss on the
back of Kai’s neck.
Kai’s knees weakened and he grabbed the edges of the sink to keep from falling. His head fell forward as Dyllan continued kissing the
back of his neck. Kai’s cock filled and lengthened and his eyes closed. His brain stuttered to a halt.
All he could do was feel. Feel Dyllan’s hands sliding up and down his arms and round to his chest. Feel Dyllan’s hard, warm body at his
back. Dyllan’s velvety mouth, hot and wet on the back of his neck.
Dyllan wanted to rip Kai’s shirt off. The back of Kai’s neck was so sweet that he wanted to taste more. He took several slow, deep
breaths. Do this right, he told himself. Gently, he pulled the shirt out of Kai's pants and over his head.
He ran his hands over the sleek, smooth skin of Kai’s back. “Sit down baby, I’ll finish up here.”
“I can’t move,” Kai confessed after a few moments. “When you touch me like that…I can’t think.”
Dyllan nuzzled into the space where Kai’s neck and shoulder met. Kai whimpered. Dyllan stretched his leg back and hooked a kitchen
chair with his foot.
He slid the chair as close to them as he could and sat Kai down.
“Stay here,” Dyllan said and gave Kai a swift kiss.
Dazed, Kai watched Dyllan wrap all of the leftover food up and put it in the refrigerator. As he watched Dyllan move around the kitchen,
Kai realized that sometimes he forgot how physically beautiful Dyllan was.
His hair had darkened very little from the time they were kids and was a pale, almost white color, and feathery soft. Like all of the
O’Brien siblings, except Brodie, Dyllan was blond haired, blue eyed, tall and muscular…and pretty. All of the O’Brien’s were gorgeous.
Dyllan had been around six feet tall since he was twelve and was still growing. At this stage, he was filling in as well as growing taller.
He worked out and it showed. He was rock hard muscle.
Dyllan had an arresting, captivating face. The kind of face that you would never get tired of looking at. His features were clear and
fine, almost angelic in fact, if you didn’t look in his eyes. His eyes were a stormy blue gray, cool and contained but untamed. They were
the eyes of a spirit that would take it to the limit. Fearless.
Dyllan reached down and adjusted himself. He hadn’t realized how arousing seducing Kai would be. Cleaning up the kitchen was hell
when all he wanted to be doing was continuing his exploration of Kai. When he finished, he looked around with a critical eye, wanting to
make sure the kitchen would pass Grandma’s inspection when she came home from Bingo.
Satisfied that the job was done and that Grandma would be pleased, Dyllan walked over to Kai, took him by the hand and led him to the
bedroom. The bedroom seemed to be an alien landscape, a place he had never been before. He was scared of how this night would
change things.
Dyllan undressed himself slowly, enjoying Kai’s heated gaze and the appreciation in his expression. Dyllan’s cock stood out, proudly
erect and leaking already. When Kai began to undress, Dyllan said quietly, “Wait, I’ll do it.”
He went over to Kai’s CD player, made a selection and soon the small room was filled with the dark, moody sound of Portishead. Dyllan
walked over to Kai and undressed him, feeling like a kid unwrapping a present. He led Kai to the bed and positioned him so that he was
lying naked on his stomach.
Dyllan lay on the bed next to Kai and trailed a hand down his back.
“You taste so good, Kai,” he whispered huskily in Kai’s ear just before he captured Kai’s earlobe between his teeth.
Kai shuddered. Dyllan worked his way down Kai’s body, licking him with long, slow strokes, using the flat of his tongue. Rubbing his
mouth lightly against him, tasting him. Nibbling and sucking on him.
Kai was panting and gripping the top of the mattress to hold himself down, because if he didn’t hold onto something, he would not be
able to endure the exquisite sensations generated by the feel of Dyllan’s lips on his back, his buttocks, his legs, and oh God, now his
toes. His toes were in the hot, moist cavern of Dyllan’s mouth and oh God, he was going to go crazy. He groaned.
“Dyllan, please, please.”
“Please what?” Dyllan asked huskily, voice muffled, as he rubbed his face over Kai’s firm, taut buttocks. Kai groaned in answer and
Dyllan licked the area between his buttocks. Dyllan turned Kai onto his back and moved up so that he was on his hands and knees, his
body covering Kai’s.
Dyllan looked into Kai’s deep black eyes and saw the little boy he had been when they first met and the best friend who was such an
essential part of his life now. Those unfathomable eyes held no mystery now. The trust and love he saw there overwhelmed him. His
heart ached in his chest.
“I love you, Kai,” Dyllan said softly and gently placed his lips on Kai’s. The loving kiss deepened until Dyllan’s tongue was searching
Kai’s mouth avidly. Hungry for more of the sweetness, the honey that was Kai.
Dyllan thrust his hands into Kai’s hair and held him still so that he could plunder his mouth. He lay down on top of Kai and they both
moaned at the intense sensations experienced when skin met skin. Dyllan was grinding his penis against Kai. He started kissing his way
down Kai’s body again.
Dyllan explored every inch of Kai, licking, tasting, and biting, until finally, just before Kai was about to beg Dyllan to touch his cock, he
grasped Kai’s long penis in his hand. Kai’s back arched and he cried out. Dyllan ran his tongue leisurely across the head of Kai’s penis.
Kai gasped sharply. “Dyllannnn,” he groaned through clenched teeth. “If you do that again. I’ll cum.”
Dyllan moaned, opened his mouth and engulfed the head of Kai’s penis in his mouth. Kai screamed and twisted away, trembling.
“Oh, God, Dyllan, oh God, Dyllan,” he said incoherently. “Please fuck me now.”
Dyllan grabbed the lube and a condom, which Kai had conveniently placed on a bedside table. He expertly sheathed his penis in the
condom and heavily lubricated his cock. He also lubricated several fingers.
“Kai,” Dyllan said hoarsely.
Kai whimpered.
“I’m gonna take this slow, ok?”
Kai nodded.
“If I hurt you, if you want me to stop, tell me and I will,” Dyllan added earnestly.
Kai moved restlessly and shook his head. “No, I need you, Dyllan. I want you now.”
Dyllan inserted one finger into Kai’s anal canal, amazed at the feel, the texture and the way his finger was sucked inwards and up. His
cock twitched eagerly.
He painstakingly inserted three fingers and when they were all completely inside of Kai’s hole, began slowly moving them in and out.
Kai arched his back and screamed wordlessly. He stretched his legs out and then bent them towards his chest.
“Dyllan,” he said desperately. “I am begging you. I am begging you to please fuck me.”
Kai’s need pulled at Dyllan. Kai writhed against Dyllan’s fingers, whimpering again when Dyllan pulled them out.
Cautiously, Dyllan replaced his fingers with his cock. He ignored Kai’s efforts to pull him in. He was determined to stay focused and
not to injure Kai in any way. It felt like he was sinking into a vat of molten fluid. Hot, liquid, wet. Unbearable, excruciating pleasure.
Kai wrapped his arms and legs around Dyllan, engulfing him in his embrace. Kai spread his legs as wide as he could. It felt as though
each stroke of Dyllan’s cock filled him with sweet, molten fire. To be penetrated like this by someone he knew as intimately as he knew
Dyllan was like being torn wide open. There was nowhere to hide. It was unexpected, overwhelming, and heartrending.
Dyllan stroked in and out slowly, gently, rhythmically. Kai was so hot, so tight. He looked down at him, watching the play of emotions
running across Kai’s face-- agonizing, delicious pleasure.
“You feel soooo good inside of me,” Kai groaned. His hands gripped Dyllan’s arms.
Dyllan leaned over and nuzzled Kai’s neck, kissing and nipping at him. Kai gasped and wrapped his legs around Dyllan’s back even
tighter.
“Ok baby? Dyllan whispered.
“Yes,” Kai whispered back. “Way better than ok.”
Dyllan carefully slid all of the way into Kai’s warm, tight ass until he hit bottom. He lowered himself until he was lying on top of Kai.
Every inch of Kai’s smooth, warm, brown skin was against his.
It would have been difficult for him to say when making love to Kai transitioned from being a loving responsibility to something that he
very much wanted to do. Now…finally inside of Kai, he was having difficulty controlling the urge to grab Kai by the hips and fuck him
crazy.
He ruthlessly restrained the urge to let go and was gliding slowly in and out of Kai’s scorching, hot tunnel. Kai moaned and whimpered
beneath him.
“God, Dyllan, please don’t stop, don’t ever stop.”
Dyllan leaned over and kissed Kai tenderly on the lips.
He pushed his tongue into Kai’s mouth, curled it around Kai’s seeking tongue and gradually deepened the kiss until he was kissing Kai
ravenously, unable to get enough. As they kissed, Dyllan increased the pace of his strokes. Greedily, Kai opened his legs wider, so that
Dyllan could penetrate him even deeper. The room was soon filled with the sound of Dyllan’s lean hips crashing into Kai’s ass.
“Kai,” Dyllan said hoarsely, “I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum in you now.”
Incredibly aroused by Dyllan’s words, Kai’s ass clenched around Dyllan’s cock and triggered Dyllan’s orgasm. Dyllan leaned down and
bit Kai’s neck as pleasure surged through his body in powerful, uncontrollable waves.
He was unable to contain it…it escaped in thick, hard pulses from the tip of his penis. Kai, teased immeasurably by the friction of
Dyllan’s rock hard abdomen rubbing against the length of his penis, erupted when Dyllan did, overwhelmed by the sensation of Dyllan
penetrating him, Dyllan on him skin to skin. Dyllan kissing him, touching him, loving him.
Kai orgasmed in uncontrollable spasms, never wanting it to end. Dyllan collapsed on him. Speechless. All of Dyllan’s previous sexual
experiences had been casual. In his house, there was always plenty of opportunity; his brothers' ex girlfriends, bi friends, and gay
friends, those who were open about it and those who weren’t.
He had never been with anyone he cared for deeply, the way he did Kai. It had been indescribable. He rolled off of Kai and to the side,
pulling Kai into his arms. He looked into Kai’s beautiful black eyes; Kai smiled at him, dimples flashing. Almost on cue, the phone rang.
Kai answered sleepily. “Yeah-ok-not yet-bye. Lacey,” he said in answer to Dyllan’s unspoken question. “Are we done…yeah…
she’s coming over now…ok…and no, Grandma’s not home yet.”
Moments later, Lacey arrived. She looked them over and smiled approvingly at what she saw in their faces. She undressed beneath
both boys’ appreciative gazes. After removing her clothing, she put on one of Kai’s T-shirts.
“Mmmmm…it smells good in here,” she said when she dove into the bed with them. Kai and Dyllan looked at each other and grinned.
The room reeked with the smell of cum, sweat and sex.
“You’re just a nasty little animal girl,” Dyllan said teasingly.
“I know,” she responded ruefully, snuggling between them so they were all piled on each other as usual. Soon they were all sleeping
soundly.
*************************************************
“Dyllan,” Kai said, pulling him back into the present. “I think Lacey…I think Lacey is ready now.”
Dyllan turned Kai around so that they were eye to eye. He looked at Kai intently. He couldn’t help it, his heart started racing.
Unconsciously, he licked his lips. “Don’t go there, man. I can’t even start to think about it. I can’t.”
Kai caressed the side of his face, gentling him. He understood that Dyllan wanted it as much as he did and that Dyllan was just as
scared as he was.
“You know what?” Dyllan asked. “We’re all restless. It must be contagious. I know what you kids need.” Kai rolled his eyes. Dyllan
never let them forget he was the oldest. “Let’s get the casa cleaned, pick up some groceries and do whatever else needs to be done.
I’m taking you to the Shack tonight.”
He went into Lacey’s room and spoke in a loud voice so she could hear him through the closed bathroom door. “We’re going to
The Shack tonight, baby girl. Get your shit together, do what you gotta do. Be ready by seven so we can get there early.”
Dyllan was already dressed, black leather jacket, black t-shirt,
black jeans and black boots, when Lacey walked shyly into the room. Shit, Dyllan thought, dumfounded. “She’s wearing a dress.”
The dress was a deep, rich burgundy that emphasized the red undertones of her golden, amber skin. The sleeveless scoop neck
revealed her muscular, well shaped arms and dipped low to reveal full breasts. The dress wrapped lovingly around her small waist and
full hips. There was a slit up the side that allowed sneaky peeks at her long, shapely legs as she walked what he called the Lacey walk,
“I’m cool but don’t fuck wit me.”
Kai was close behind her, wearing blue jeans and a royal blue t-shirt, in a rush to prove that he wasn’t as slow as they both said he was.
When Lacey stopped in front of Dyllan, showing off her dress and seeking approval, he and Dyllan exchanged a quick glance. He shook
his head at Dyllan, black eyes sharp with warning: don’t tease.
“You look nice,” Dyllan said. “Ready?” he asked casually.
“Gina and Eryka took me shopping,” Lacey said in answer to the unspoken questions buzzing around the room. “She said I’d never get
a man if I kept wearing jeans and flannel all of the time.” Kai’s heart constricted in his chest. Dyllan’s nostrils flared slightly, like an
animal sensing danger.
Lacey said, “ I told her, I already have a man. Two in fact.” Dyllan and Kai shared another quick glance. “I am ready. C’mon dancer
boy,” she said to Kai, holding out her hand. She grabbed Dyllan by the arm. “This is a good idea baby. I need this.”
They walked to the club slowly, Lacey sandwiched protectively by Kai and Dyllan. It was a cool, crisp evening and Lacey huddled into
her jacket. “Can’t wait to get in. I’m cold.”
“Might help if you had some clothes on,” Dyllan grumbled. “We like you in jeans and flannel.” Kai gave him a stern look. “It’s true,"
Dyllan protested, “We DO like her in jeans and flannel. Plus, now we’ll have to keep even MORE assholes away from her.” Lacey
snorted and rolled her eyes.
Fells Point was just beginning to get the usual Saturday night crowd. People of every size, shape, color and gender. Just chillin. There
was a strip of bars they frequented on occasion. Dark, noisy, smoky bars. Their favorite kind. The three spent many evenings traveling
from bar to bar, dancing, running into friends and people watching.
Tonight they were headed for the Shack. The Shack was just a large wooden dance floor, with huge, state of the art, speakers
strategically placed throughout the room. There was a bar and DJ’s booth towards the back. Lacey’s favorite DJ played on Saturday
nights.
When the door swung open, she inhaled the music and started strutting onto the dance floor. The music was so loud it felt as though the
beat was invading her pores. “I need to get warmed up first,” Kai said and sat down at one of the few table and chairs located at the
edge of the dance floor. He closed his eyes and started nodding his head to the beat. “Uh Oh, “ he said as the tempo changed.
“What?” Dyllan asked then said, “Oh, Lacey’s favorite song,” as he recognized the intro.
“Everybody’s free to feel good…” It didn’t seem possible but the DJ increased the volume and made the refrain of the song echo over
and over---“Everybody’s free to feel good….” Kai was dancing in his chair, unable to resist the beat. He closed his eyes and allowed
the music to sweep over him.
Dyllan watched Lacey, unable to take his eyes off of her. Her long, wild hair was a golden halo framing her beautiful face. Her graceful
motion was mesmerizing. She was totally focused on the music throbbing in her veins like lifeblood. She twirled and strutted and danced
by herself as the dance floor filled up. Every now and then someone would dance up to her. She would dance with them briefly and twirl
away with a vague smile.
He got up from the table and leaned against one of the pillars in the center of the dance floor, his usual spot, so that he could keep a
watchful eye on Lacey. He was oblivious to the many hungry eyes staring at every move he made.
Dyllan recognized the rhythmic beat of the next song; it was one of his favorites. Ja Rule’s rough, gritty voice filled the room. Every
time he heard this song, he felt it bone deep. Coulda been his life.
“Make a lot mistakes in life...some mistakes keep calling us back…pulling us in…every day it keeps callin…would I run down a road
so dark…hope to die, cross my heart….every day…streets keep callin…they keep callin…it’s a fucked up world we live in…I’m tired
of feelin the pain…”
When he was 15, Lacey was 13 and Kai 14. Lacey and Kai were doing very well in school. They both loved to read. Gina, one of Lacey’s
mother’s few real friends, had put a bug in Lacey’s ear when she started school. Read, read, and learn. You don’t HAVE
to end up like this. It was contagious. Lacey infected Kai.
They would spend hours reading and studying. Dyllan hated school. Lacey and Kai kept him in. They would read to him. Halfway do
assignments for him. Anything to keep him from flunking out. Still, he was barely passing, while they were being groomed for college.
The nuns were already talking scholarships.
Dyllan looked at his mother, always working at least two jobs. His oldest brother, Cullen, had been working under the table, since he
was a little kid, to help his mother support the rest of them. Cullen didn’t want the rest of them to work. He told them to concentrate on
school.
His family was always struggling, one step away from having to get brown bag from the church. School was more and more frustrating.
He hated having Lacey and Kai, who were younger than him, doing his assignments. He felt so fucking stupid.
He was useless. What did they even need him for? He wanted out. Now. Lacey walked up to where he stood. He had mastered the art
of looking as if he were doing nothing. As if he just happened to be there. She looked up at him. The look in her eyes had devastated
him.
She had never looked at him like that…ever. Disappointment, hurt. He looked down and then away. Ashamed to face her.
“You haven’t been to school for the past week,” she said quietly. “Dyllan, I don’t understand.” She searched his eyes, looking for
answers. “How could you be here…doing this? You know…” her voice trembled and she paused. “You have seen how this shit fucked
my mother up. What, are you gonna sell to her? Latonya and James?” she asked, mentioning two young kids in their neighborhood.
He looked at her and then away again. “I want out,” he said flatly. “I want out,” he said again, fiercely this time, meeting her eyes.
“I hate this.”
Dyllan suddenly noticed Kai standing unobtrusively to the side…looking out. Lacey’s eyes were full of tears. Dyllan’s stomach lurched
sickeningly. Lacey never cried. Ever. He looked down again, unable to explain how restless and increasingly frustrated he had been
feeling. Everyone seemed to have a future but him.
“This is not the way, Dyllan,” Lacey said softly, emphatically. She went over to where his stash was hidden. He was too stunned to
move; obviously she had been observing him for a while, with Kai as look out. He watched, in fear and amazement, as she dumped the
drugs down the sewer.
His heart stuttered in terror. “Do you know who that belongs to?” he asked.
“I don’t care,” Lacey said simply. “That is not the way.” She took Dyllan by the hand and Kai by the other. Slowly and silently they
walked home. “Let’s go to my house,” Lacey said. “I have a PLAN.”
Dyllan groaned, “I hope it involves me being alive and not owing one of the biggest drug dealers in Baltimore big bucks at the end of it.”
When they got to Lacey’s house, Lacey handed both boys a packet Both packets had photo ID and all of the documentation they needed
to work. “Courtesy of my mother,” Lacey explained. “Moms does come through sometimes,” she added with a sad smile.
Lacey’s mother was a hustler who was involved in just about any shady deal possible to support her drug habit. Lacey tried to avoid it,
but in this case, drastic measures were required, so she had asked her mother for help. Her mother was the one who had alerted her to
what Dyllan was doing. The drug dealer Dyllan was selling for was from their neighborhood, and a sometime boyfriend of Lacey’s
mother.
“Gina got us jobs at the McDonald’s where she works,” Lacey said. Dyllan groaned again. “How much money do you owe and when is
he expecting payment?” she asked. She shrieked when he told her the amount and time frame.
“I told you,” Dyllan said grimly.
“Between the three of us, if we work out a schedule, we can do it. Gina did say she could fix it so that we can work extra hours,” Lacey
said. “We’ll be tired as hell, but you’ll still be alive and out of debt.”
“I want to quit school,” Dyllan said abruptly. “I’ll get my GED or something. I can work full time and with y’all helping a little, I can get
the money without you killing yourselves.” As Lacey started to protest, Dyllan added, “I hate school, you and Kai go, you like it. You
have plans, where you need an education and I don’t,” he finished miserably.
Lacey went over to Dyllan and knelt between his knees, “I don’t want to lose you, Dyllan.” She grabbed Kai’s hand. “I don’t want to
lose what we have together. 1…2…3… Remember?" She forced a smile. “We should be able to talk to each other about anything. We
should be able to DO anything as long as we stick together, Dyllan.”
“1…2…3…”Dyllan said softly.
“1…2…3...”Kai echoed.
“And anyway,” Lacey said, smiling with relief. “Go ahead and quit school. For you…I have another PLAN.” Dyllan groaned again and
shook his head.
The music shifted again from hip-hop to trance. Dyllan was recalled to the present by the change in tempo. His eyes remained on Lacey.
She was sweating, not perspiring, and inexhaustible.
She was in the zone and she needed…Kai. She danced over to the table, shrugging out of her jacket, “C’mon dancer boy.” She danced
over to him and shimmied sensually in front of him, laughing. Her face lit up and glowing with the sheer joy of the dance.
Kai smiled sweetly in return, enjoying her pleasure. They left their jackets on top of the table, where Dyllan could see them, as they
moved onto the dance floor. Kai and Lacey danced in perfect accord, their movements revealing their familiarity with one another.
There was a symmetry to their movements, even though they danced very differently. Lacey was fiery energy, constant motion and Kai
moved like quicksilver, languid and flowing.
Kai twirled her around until she was dizzy and then leaned her backwards into his embrace until she caught her breath and the world
stopped shifting. She was high, he could tell. Her eyes were glittering. “I’m just getting started baby,” she said, laughing happily. “I
needed this.”
“Me too,” he shouted over the music. “Dyllan knows best,” they said in unison, quoting one of Dyllan’s favorite sayings.
They looked at each other and grinned when they heard the intro to the next song, one of their favorites. Lacey inhaled deeply. “Oh…
yeah.” Kai leaned towards her and gently wiped the moisture from her neck and breasts with the palm of his hand. He could smell the
light perfume she wore, mixed with her deep, earthy scent and the smell of her sweat. Her smell intoxicated him.
He danced behind her and copied her motions. He knew her so well that he was able to mirror her movements without difficulty. Her
smell enticed him so that he had to get closer, just behind her, barely touching. He leaned in and sniffed her, unable to stop himself.
Full of yearning, he nuzzled into her neck, while lightly taking the tips of his fingers and gliding them from her fingers to the top of her
shoulders. Lacey shivered as goose bumps suddenly lined her arms. Kai touching her and the rhythm of the music took her deeper. He
gently grabbed Lacy around the waist and pulled her back into him so that he could feel her body against his.
He inhaled her scent again and closed his eyes. He began to lightly stroke her arms, up and down, while she caught his beat and moved
her hips with his. Fighting himself, Kai pulled back slightly. The rhythmic movement of her body, her warmth in front of him, just barely
touching him, was irresistible. He leaned forward again and started lapping hungrily at the salty drops of sweat on her neck and
shoulders, licking and sucking delicately.
His tongue was so hot, his lips so soft and warm. Lacey’s pulse tripped and her breath caught sharply, as her nipples hardened in a
sweet, throbbing rush of feeling. Every time Kai’s hands slid up and down her arms, she felt a tug of sensation in her nipples that spread
outward and lower. She felt as though she were encased in warm honey.
She surfaced briefly to check for Dyllan. Dyllan moved into her line of vision, he had felt her searching for him. It was getting crowded
and someone had stepped in front of him. He had watched Lacey and Kai go from dancing exuberantly as if they would never stop, to
the rhythmic, sensual dance they were doing now.
He watched Kai touching her, stroking her, licking her and hardened slowly until he ached. He knew what those soft lips felt like, what